How many times have you heard someone cry out those words? My children used to use that phrase on a daily basis. My response (at the time) was an unsympathetic “life isn’t fair.” But after years of reflection (and tiring of people not accepting my simple answer), I came up with an idea that is worth sharing with everyone. It involved the importance of following policies, rules, and the law.
So I used the “yellow traffic light.” The intent behind a yellow traffic light is to “clear the intersection, so that traffic flow can safely change direction”. The problem is that people “run” yellow lights all the time! Most people that run yellow lights get away with it: a small percentage get caught and receive a traffic ticket. An even smaller percentage of people that run yellow lights wind up striking another vehicle (fender bender). On a rare occasion, a person running a yellow light might hit (or even kill) a pedestrian. It’s easy to see that the law was created to protect the safety of ALL drivers.
So when we get caught/fined for running a yellow light, instead of complaining to the officer that ‘IT’S NOT FAIR,” there are three factors that we can remember to help us learn from the experience:
1. Humility. We all need to understand that whether you’ve been driving a car for 30 days or 30 years, all the rules apply to all of us at all times. That includes a penalty for running yellow lights. There are no exceptions, and it doesn’t matter how good you are at what you do, if you violate the rules you will pay the price. Every time we choose to take a risk and run a yellow light, we tempt fate.
2. Discretion. Shooting your mouth off about what you know or what you “think” you know, or being boisterous about your opinions on how things should or should not be done is never a good idea. Especially when you are being questioned by a law enforcement officer. The old saying “discretion is the better part of valor” are words to live by. If you have a concern about the way something is being done, you need to address your concerns with a professional, such as an attorney at a later time. Complaining to the officer that “so and so runs yellow lights all the time and never gets caught. I run ONE yellow light and get a ticket…IT’S NOT FAIR”. It will not change the outcome. If it makes you feel better, you can write a letter to city hall complaining about people running yellow lights. They can put in a camera to catch/ticket MORE people that run yellow lights. But you’ll NEVER be able to stop people from running yellow lights.
3. Professionalism. If there are concerns about traffic laws, or how law enforcement functions, or how the law doesn’t align with what it hopes to accomplish, there are ways to communicate this information effectively in a professional manner. It’s always best to wait until emotions have subsided, to write down your concerns in a clear and logical manner, and then present those concerns to the appropriate person. They will probably listen to you and evaluate your concern, but ultimately will need to rely on their experts for an official opinion. If you see Governor Newsome in a restaurant and try to tell him that “yellow lights are ridiculous”, he probably isn’t going to be able to help you. But if you wrote a letter that was well thought out, and sent it to his office, his staff would certainly look into your concern.
In summary, we need to focus on the things we CAN change: ourselves. How we respond to things we feel are “unfair”. It’s important that we can create a positive and supportive community that provides safety to everyone. this will definitely improve the quality of our lives. And when we focus on that, we will have a GREAT day, no matter how unfair we feel life is.
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